If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
