im holly from the hills drunk
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
