THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
