did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
