I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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