I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
