Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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