my phone cant type all the emotion im having
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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