she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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