I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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