He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I fill condoms, not promises.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I need a beard to bite.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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