theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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