wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
How's work?
Spinning.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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