i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
