So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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