That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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