I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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