Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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