i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
