so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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