mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
