Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
ugly people sure do ruin things
she smelled like a LAN party
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
