Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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