I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
