We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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