I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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