is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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