maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Randomize
