Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
