At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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