Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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