i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
as a side note pls kill me
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
soo... how was my night?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize