this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
