Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
