It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
