i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
