Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
