i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
