if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
