Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize