just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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