I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
