like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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