Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Randomize
