do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
