South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
