Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
