Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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