we're blogging at a bar
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
