Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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