is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
