You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
