i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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