I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
