My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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