i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
