I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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