just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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