So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
