So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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