Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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