He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
